So, yeah, today is my 34th birthday. In all honesty, blah. It’s kinda sad, but I’ve felt this way about my “big” day ever since my Nanie passed. If you haven’t read my blog posts before, I considered my Nanie (my mom’s mom) as a 2nd mom. She was always there for me. I use to spend as much time with her as I did at my own house. When she passed in September of 2006, it felt as if a huge void was left in my heart. Ever since that time, I haven’t really wanted to do all that much when it comes to my birthday. I know, I sound like a sad, depressed little person right now. Really, I’m not usually like this, at least not on any other day.
I sat down in a quiet corner today, just to really reflect on everything, and I realized that maybe I feel this way every year, feel it so deeply, is that I live in my Nanie’s house. After she passed, my mom sold my husband and I the home. It really is a blessing because we would have never been able to afford an actual home, at least not in this area. Living in this home, it is filled with so many memories. Like I said, I’ve spent half my own childhood and early adulthood life in this house. In fact, we spent every birthday here.
So today, I am making a change. No more depressing, saddened birthdays. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss my Nanie and I am reminded of her all the time, but even though she is gone, I’m still here. I have a beautiful daughter who is amazing, funny and full of life. I have a husband that tries his best to make me happy on this day, which I haven’t been really receptive of. Sorry hubs. I had an AMAZING day yesterday with my little family and saw my little girl’s dream come true. Met some truly humble and genuine individuals whom I have a new respect for. I’m working on my book, which should be finished before the end of the year. There is plenty to be happy and thankful about. Yes, the past year has been a little tough, but as they say, God only gives you what you can handle. He obviously has more faith in me than I have had in myself.
I am determined to make 34 a good one!
Well, today was the day! We spent my birthday weekend going to an Imagination Movers concert. My husband wasn’t able to tell who was more excited, my 4 year old or me. The concerts are ALWAYS so much fun. Gallo Arts theater in Modesto, California had a terrific venue as well. People were so extremely nice and everything seemed well organized.
When the Movers hit the stage (announced by Mr. Scott himself behind the curtain) the theater just becomes electric immediately. I was busy watching the face on my daughter when they came out…
I think she was a little overwhelmed at first, we were in the second row and she’s never been that close to them, except for Smitty coming up to her last concert. Those little brown eyes of hers were just taking the whole thing in. Right off the bat she got a high five from her man, Mover Scott followed by Mover Rich. The smile on her face and the look she gave to me said it all. A lot of older favorites were played along with some songs from Back In Blue (one of my personal favs “On Your Marks”). There was the toilet paper streamers, which are always a crowd fav…
Then there was the blown up balls flying all over the auditorium. Actually, I think I knocked a few ladies in the head with those balls. Ooops, sorry. Then there was the, now famous, smoke rings and blow the hat off Smitty. Em laughed so hard and was trying to tell Rich that he had Smitty’s hat on. She was cracking me up.
The show has so much energy, they make me tired watching them jump and run around all over the place, and it truly makes adults feel like kids again. My girl had an amazing time, but so did my husband and I! Let me tell you, please, if you EVER have the chance to see these guys in concert you MUST go. Oh, and go buy (download) their albums too. It’s not just for kids. I rock out to it too. Heck, I was singing every song right along with them at the concert. At one point, Em leaned to me and shook her head. It’s official, I embarrass my 4 year old! Whoohoo! Get use to it kid, it won’t be the last.
We were fortunate to get Meet and Greet passes this time and I have to say, I have NEVER met such sweet, humble, sincere guys. They truly appreciate their fans, which now a days is hard to come by. Em even had gifts to give to them and they really seemed to appreciate them, which made her so incredibly happy. Walking back to the car all she could talk about was “Scott asked for a hug twice! Twice mom! And Smitty and Scott said they were going to hang their gifts in their office! Do you really think they will?”
(Grandpa cut them out, but the rest was all my daughter. White was for Dave, Red was for Smitty, Yellow was for Scott and Blue was for Rich)
(Look at that little face. I swear, if she could be a stow-away in his suitcase she would)
What got me was that Scott asked for a hug from Em twice. She has waited 2 years to hug this man. He has always been her favorite. She finds him silly. Her first little crush I guess you could say, and for her to be given this opportunity to meet him (now I’m getting all weepy again), it’s something she will remember for a very long time.
So with that. Again, I just want to extend my gratitude to these four amazing men. Thank you for putting out music that kids and families can enjoy together. Thank you for being so appreciative of your fans (even though we are the ones that truly appreciate you). Most of all, thank you for being the genuine, humble, caring men that you are. I could not ask for better people for my daughter to look up to and admire. From the deepest outpouring of this mom’s heart, I thank you for all that you are and all that you do.
Seeing my daughter so happy and filled with so much excitement about the experience today made this the absolute best early birthday present I could ever ask for. I don’t need presents, her happiness was enough for me.
Just putting this out there…
Mover Sirs, if you happen to read this, if you EVER need promotional help out this way in California, I am your girl. You know who I am on Twitter and you can reach out to me whenever you need the extra help. It’s the least I can do.
(Ignore the dates on the pics…way off…unless I did in fact time travel, which makes me younger. AWESOME! I’ll take it! Also ignore the double chinned me…sigh)
So, in my last post I talked about the crappy windows I received and how no one takes responsibility for anything anymore.
Well, today, the window company owner and his “associate” came out to address the issues I was having with the broken windows. I showed them the windows I was having issues with and then they asked about the “leaking” window. He wanted to look at the window to make sure the window itself was okay. We walked outside, took a look at the back of it. His associate began talking to me, the owner disappeared for a bit then came back with, what I feel was a very ballsy move. He stands at the top of the step and says,
I want you to know that we stand behind our work. We don’t make the windows. We buy them from (company), we sell them and then we hire contractors to come out and install them. There was a review on Yelp…
Ah, shit! I could feel my whole body become flushed.
Now the person who wrote the review was named Tammie B., and you are Tammie, so I’m assuming it was you that wrote it since the time frame of the windows also fits.
Good job detective. Ya got me.
Understand that the review was written under my company name. We stand by our work. But we aren’t the makers of the windows and we aren’t the installers, so please keep that in mind.
With that, he went to go check the windows in the house again, while I was left with his “associate” in the backyard to talk more about the rotted wood under the window and to be told again that they stand behind their work and that the water issue we are having is a structural issue and no fault to them, at least that’s what I got from her. So, I will be receiving a phone call when the part for the broken window comes in and to schedule a time to fix it.
Out of pure kindness, I deleted my Yelp review. I’m still pretty pissed off, but whatever. I don’t feel like being reminded of it when dude comes out to fix the broken window. Personally, I feel that it shouldn’t have even been brought up. It should be the customer’s decision whether or not they feel they should take the review off. Maybe, perhaps, after all my stuff was fixed, I would have deleted the review on my own. So much for me personally making that decision.
By the way, when I told my husband about all this and how the Yelp review was brought up, oh man. There may be a future phone call in the works.
About 4 1/2 years ago, a month after my daughter was born, we had new windows put into the house. The old windows let in too much heat during the summer and too much cold air during the winter, and with me being a new paranoid mom, the windows had to change. Granted, it wasn’t the easiest of times to have two men trampling through your house and making loud noises while your 1 month old is trying to sleep, but it got done and we were happy, or so we thought.
Fast forward about 3 months. There is a pretty big rain storm that hits the Bay Area. I go into my daughter’s nursery and see a puddle of water on the floor near her window. My first thoughts, damn cat peed on the floor! Why were those my first thoughts? Because he was not happy about us bringing home another small thing, so he started peeing on my husband’s clothes and our bed. He was the baby until my daughter, needless to say he was not a happy guy. Sensitive little man cat. It wasn’t until I started looking around more that I noticed the wall under my daughter’s wall bubbling out. So, like the idiot that I am, I go poke it. Water comes gushing out. We call the window guys, who blame it on the contractors. We call the contractor, he comes out, cocks around the window, DONE.
Between then and now, 3 windows tracks have broken, mold has been growing on the inside of the windows and this past Saturday, after another big rainstorm, water came in from the same spot it did 3 months after the windows were put it. It took 4 days for someone to come out and take a look at them. Of course when you call, the manufacturer blames it on the contractor, the contractor comes and takes a look and tells me “Well this isn’t an installation problem. I remember the wood being pretty well rotted under this window. Your house may be stucco, but it sucks up water and there’s your problem.” I’m sorry sir, but the only thing that sucks around here is you. Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you knew the wall under the window was rotted and you knew this would keep happening, then why did you put the window in? Oh, and another thing. You can’t tell me that there are “mold spores” in the air and they are randomly collecting on my window. Basically, he was telling me that I keep a dirty house. Um, my house isn’t perfect, but it is clean. So…suck it!
So, supposedly the window company will be coming out to fix the 3 broken windows, and as for the leaking window…we are on our own. Yep, that’s right. Actually, he can repair the rotted wall portion for a cost. No thanks dirt bag. I think you’ve done enough for me. Thank goodness for my dad, who is willingly going to look at it and try to fix it. Fun times, fun times. Let’s just hope that the rain lets up for a little while so everything can dry out and get repaired. No one told me that owning a home would be so much fun.
This weekend is a busy weekend. Sunday is my birthday, (blah…whatever) I’ll be 34 and I am convinced that if ignore it, it will go away. So far it’s worked the past few years, I’m still 29!
This Saturday also marks the 2 year long wait for the return of the Imagination Movers to the Bay Area (technically they are coming to the valley, whatever, close enough). This kid loves her boys in blue (and if you haven’t checked out their latest album, and you totally should…listen to it here…Back In Blue ). Like I mentioned in my other post (read it here) my little minion has been listening to these four very talented men since she was 8 months old. This time, with the help of some amazing individuals, my daughter’s dream of meeting them in person has come true.
To commemorate this very special event, we have begun a countdown every morning when she wakes up. I swear, she sequels like a teenager when we begin the countdown (and afterwards). Her excitement makes me excited, not like I wasn’t excited before, just more so now when I see her face light up. I have to confess a little bit though, I am a little nervous. In this house, Movers are major celebrities. I’ve never really met a celebrity before, well…no, I take that back. I met Danny Glover when I was in middle school, but it was a quick autograph signing. Over quickly, but still pretty cool; especially to this girl who longed to be a movie director. Anywho, what do I say? What do I do? How do I not embarrass my 4 year old daughter? (if you think it’s impossible to embarrass a 4 year old, trust me, it’s not. Ask my kid.)
She wanted to bring them gifts. So we crafted up some things, even for Farmer Kyle (who is the drummer for the band on the road), wrapped them all up pretty like, and kiddo is anxiously waiting to give them. I would show you, but I will wait until after the concert. I can say that I cut them out (actually my dad cut them out for fear of me losing a finger, also totally not impossible), but kiddo decorated them ALL. She is very proud of her art work and I am very proud of her for being so kind and wanting to give a gift.
So, if there is anyone out there reading this that lives in California around the Modesto area (or if you feel like taking a road trip) tickets are still available for the 1pm and 4pm show at the Gallo Arts Center…buy tickets here . It is such a fun concert for families. You and your kids will love it.
Now off to warming up our singing voices. Kid and I are having a “Let it Go” sing-off.
Yay for the 1st of the month (ok, I’m actually a wee bit late, but better late than never) and it’s time to Ketchup with Mel and Michele once again. I have the esteemed honor of being their featured writer this time around. (Oh, man…the pressure. Better make this post a good one.) I decided to do the “brain drain” blog method again. Actually, I find these kinda fun. You never know what’s going to come out and to be completely truthful, it’s where some of the most honest writing (at least from these fingers) comes from. Plus, no prepping or drafting. I am so down with that. So….here…we…go…
This morning, while suffering from a brain bending headache, (which may or may not have been enduced by the following) I enrolled my pre-schooler into the Castro Valley School District for the 2014-2015 school year. Because of my little monster’s birthday, she has to be in a 2 year Kindergarten program, nevertheless, she will be officially a Kindergartner at the end of May. I literally want to go curl up in a ball, hide in my closet (with chocolate and wine to survive) and cry it out. Does anyone want to tell me when this decided to happen?!? Didn’t I just give birth to this child, like, yesterday?
Okay, okay…maybe I am being a little, teensy weensy, mellow dramatic, but she is may baby. My only one! Time goes by way too fast! You hear your own parents say it from the time you are born, until…well…current day, but you never really believe them until you have a little person of your own. And when that day comes, holy crap is it terrifying. Some days I feel like you are spinning in a tornado with time itself, frantically trying to grasp any millisecond you can, just to make it slow down, even for just a little bit. The realization of time also makes you think of things you don’t even begin or for that matter, want to think about. In a way, it’s a good reminder of things that should be important to you. Family, love, togetherness, cherishing every moment you have.
So, go hug your loved ones. Right now! Go! I’m not kidding! You can’t get time back (although I am working on a time machine, so maybe someday that will be possible).
For about 13 years now, I have been suffering from anxiety. It started when I was about 20 years old. My aunt, whom I was very close to, was going through major depression and medical/mental health issues. At that time, I took on the role of contacting facilities, speaking (and often arguing) with doctors and generally trying to find the best car possible that I could find for her with the government ran insurance that she had. I was also taking some college courses at the time. Needless to say, my plate was a little more than full.
I remember sitting in English class. A warm flush came over me and suddenly this intense panic and fear took over my entire body, soon followed by a fainting feeling. I remember sitting there at my desk, silently trying to calm myself. After a few minutes, the feeling diminished and I was able to collect myself enough to go to the teacher and excuse myself from class. Walking down the flight of stairs from my classroom was terrifying, for fear that I may pass out and fall down them. When I finally got to my car, I sat there, for what seemed like hours, but in reality was just minutes. What was going on with me? I drove home, when looking back now probably wasn’t the best of ideas. Still living with my parents at the time, I kept this event quietly to myself. I felt that they would probably think I was over exaggerating, and it just wasn’t something I wanted to deal with.
During the middle of that night, I woke up from a deep sleep, feeling as if I was being choked by something. I sat straight up in bed, gasping for air, becoming more and more terrified by the second. In all honesty, I truly felt as if I was going to die. At this point, I told my parents, whom were understanding but also a little confused about the entire situation. For the next seven nights, I was awoken the same way, sometimes more than once. Unsure as to what exactly was going on, I went to the doctors. He looked me over, check my heart (I was having palpitations as well) and came to the conclusion that I was having panic attacks, which was an anxiety disorder.
My body could no longer handle the stress it was enduring and it basically was fighting back. You bastard of a body! Since I was unable to control these random attacks that felt like attacks of death, I was placed on medication.
At first I was a little ashamed to be taking meds. I didn’t want to admit that I had this issue. I’m not really sure why. Maybe because society sees it as a weakness or a mental disease. I learned to accept it, and slowly decreased the number of attacks I was having. It’s been 13 years and I still suffer from them from time to time, not nearly as severe as when they first started happening, but equally as annoying. It honestly depends on what is going on in my life and how much my body is willing to handle.
So, what’s the point of this post?
Don’t be afraid or ashamed as to what is going on with yourself. It’s not a sign of weakness to admit you need help sometimes and there is no shame in taking medications if you need to.
No one is a super hero, although sometimes we like to think of ourselves that way. Not everything can be done on your own, and that’s perfectly okay.