On May 25th, I will have been at my job for 9 years. That is a looooong time and over my years of doing Medical Review for a legal copy service I have stumbled upon some “creative”, to say the least, ways of hurting oneself on the job. I have also seen graphic pictures of injuries that NO ONE should see unless you are a doctor or nurse or in some kind of medical profession. Although, I do have to say that it has helped my stomach to become a little bit stronger.

Other things I have learned is to never work with animals (mainly cows or bulls) and if you are to work with them, DO NOT hunch, bend, kneel, sit, crouch close to them. DO NOT try to open a gate while a herd of cattle is coming towards you (just jump over that shit) and while milking an animal DO NOT kneel or sit close to the butt (that should really go without saying, but it happens more often than you think).

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Also, beware of the work toilet. Yep, that’s right. I said it and you heard (read) me correctly. Them SOB’s are more dangerous than you think (or there are just some really stupid and unfortunate individuals out there where toilets are the enemy). I will never forget reading about this woman who went to go use the public bathroom at work. She was supposedly “missing” per her co-workers for a few hours. When someone went in to check on her, what they found was truly embarrassing. The woman was laying at the bottom of the stall (eww doesn’t even begin to describe it). The toilet had collapsed while the woman was on it. It shattered and she ended up having several shards of porcelain souvenirs shoved in her buttocks. I couldn’t make this up ladies and gentlemen if I tried.

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So don’t say I didn’t worn you and good luck at your place of employment.

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