A few weeks ago my husband and I took our daughter to Sears to get a “big girl” bed. No, not the toddler “big girl” bed. I mean the “this is the bed that you’ll have until you are 18 years old; move out of the house or make enough money to where you can buy your own bed.” So needless to say, she was all kinds of excited when we pulled in to the parking garage. 

Before we walked into the store (hell before we even got out of the car), this is the conversation we had.

Me: “Now what are the rules before we walk in here?”

Em: “Hold mommy or daddy’s hand. I KNOW MOM!”

So I’m sure you can imagine what my perfect little angel did as soon as we walked in to the store. Hastily breaks away from my hand and says “I’m a BIG girl! I don’t need your hand!” and continues to run ahead of me, touching and grabbing everything in sight. Totally what we had JUST discussed in the car.

There I am, still on the first floor, only about 200 feet from the entrance desperately trying to grab any part of my child that I can. Meaning flailing arms, hood of the jacket, and yes, even the hair. When I finally get a hold of some part of my child, she screams bloody murder. So loud, in fact, that people begin to turn around and stare. Some with those judging eyes as if I had just attacked my child.

So, I make a deal with my child. I tell her “If you keep your little butt directly in front of me, then I won’t hang on to you.” As if making a deal with a 3 1/2 year old is an awesome idea (no, no it’s not) it didn’t matter because she doesn’t listen anyway. 

After a pure hour from HELL (just trying to buy this stinking bed was a hassle due to stupid iPad) it was finally time to sign and get the heck out of that store. Believe you me, with a kid who has the attention span of about 15 minutes I was ready to go and grab a drink. Most of the time I was standing at the counter dealing with the sales guy and the hubs was with the little wild child (she listens better to him than me), but when it came time to sign the sales slip, hubs and I had to switch places. Almost immediately she takes off down an aisle. I try to catch her on the other side and when I get there she is GONE! I have never been so terrified in my life. Instantly my heart-felt like it had dropped to my feet, panicked breathing commences and crazy, hysterical momma comes out.

There I am, running down the outside of all the aisles, frantically searching for my kid, screaming her name with no replies. Where the hell could she be? All I could think of was either A) someone took off with her or B) she was half way down all those escalators. I come rounding the corner to where my hubs is signing the sales slip and there she is, running right to daddy. My hubs had no idea what had just happened. When I told him he said, “All I saw was water welling up in your eyes and you looked completely pale.” Thank goodness this whole thing was only about 30 seconds of my life, but it was the longest 30 seconds of my life.