Just a first time mom writing about the randomness of life and how being mom is full of laughter, tears, fears and happiness. Living it out one gray hair at a time.

Monthly Archives: July 2013

I really don’t like being a Negative Nancy. I am usually a pretty easy-going, semi-happy person. A little bit of a stress ball, but that was breed into me. This week, however, has tested my patience like no other. Let me share my time-line…

Monday – July 8th

Text message received from my friend at work that we will be receiving a “visit” from the owners of the company Tuesday and Wednesday. This makes me nervous in more than one way.

1. I do not have that great of a history with the “President” of the company. I have been with my company for 9 years. Way back in the earlier days, he use to be the Office Manager for my office. Let’s just say I was screamed at by him on a regular basis and there were a few times I came close to quitting. No one should have to take that kind of verbal abuse on a daily basis. It was understood that he was a “hot head”, but again, no employer should do that to their employees. So when I hear that he is making a visit all of those nervous, stomach tightening feelings come back.

2. The last time there was a large, sudden company meeting there was a large downsizing done. So this sudden visit doesn’t sit too well with me.

Tuesday – July 9th

In the morning we were told that we would be having a meeting with the main bosses around 12noon. Okay, fine and dandy. 11:00 hits and the meeting was rescheduled for the following morning. Instead, there were going to be collecting “data” that afternoon. Everyone is on edge to what that exactly means.

Wednesday – July 10th

9am meeting with the entire office and big bosses. Meeting seemed to go ok, although we were told changes were going to be made and if we were not willing to accommodate…there was the door.

Thursday – July 11th

Working from home, like normal. End of the day I get a text from my friend saying that there was a quick staff meeting and there were going to be some major changes, one involving me. Freaked out, I called her. Basically, I am no longer able to work from home. Now I am in complete and utter panic as to what exactly I am going to do about my child-care situation. My husband and I do not make enough money for daycare or a nanny. So now what? My mom can only watch my child so much with all the health issues she’s been having lately. Anxiety sets in. I cry for a few hours and feel completely nauseous all night. Only a few hours of sleep, spending the night pondering what I am going to have to do.

Friday – July 12th

Feel absolutely horrible. Unable to eat and honestly just feel lost. I collect myself and send a concerned e-mail to my boss. Figured I would address my concerns first. Got everything off my chest, still not really feeling any better about the situation, but at least it’s out there in the open. Nothing really changes with the outcome, still feeling lost and almost in a sense helpless. How do you adjust things when…

1. You live paycheck to paycheck and are really unable to spend basically a paychecks worth on childcare.

2. Trying to explain to my daughter, who already dislikes me working, that mommy now has to go into the office full time instead of working from home a few days a week, spending time with her.

Then if all of this wasn’t enough, paychecks were for some reason or another given to us physically instead of Direct Deposit. Working from home today, you can imagine my concern when I look into my bank account and do not see my paycheck in there, and even  worse, because there is no paycheck in there my account is now over-drafted. COME ON! SERIOUSLY! What did I do? I’ve been good. Karma shouldn’t be coming after me or anything.

It seems like when things are bad and stressful, the universe looks at you and says “Hey, let’s knock you in the gut and to the ground for a little bit. See how long it can take you to get back up.”

Thanks Universe, but the gut kick really isn’t necessary.

Is it too early to bust open a bottle of wine? 


Yay! It’s Ketchup Up time and this time the topic is:

In 57 words or less, tell us what FREEDOM means to you or (if you’re feeling silly) about the last great thing you got for FREE!

Dude, Independence Day for America tomorrow; what’s more American than Ketchup! Coincidence? I think not…

Anywho, we all know what Freedom means, especially with tomorrow coming around, but I’d like to talk about my own personal free time.

I love her more than anything

She is my heart

But there are those days

I just feel like falling apart

Then he comes home

And takes her to play

And mommy gets sane time

30 minutes out of her day

Free to relax

Free to breathe

Free to have 30 minutes

To do what I please

So, as an extension of my last blog about my niece coming to spend the night, I thought I would wrap up the entire evening (including some pics).


First the girls used their creativity to play telephone. If you don’t have a string and two cans (totally old school) a tube will work just fine. The object of this game was to see which cousin could scream the loudest and whose ears rang the longest.

Then we played outside with bubbles (I despise bubbles but the girls love them so fine, I’ll suffer with the stickiness) Before I could catch her, my niece poured the entire large container of bubbles into our small, emptied pool and the improvised slip-and-slid commenced. I wasn’t okay with this idea at first, but there is thick padding under the pool and I watched them very carefully to make sure they weren’t checking each other (hockey reference). After a few minutes both girls were completely soapy from head to toe. So before they could even come into the house, what did I have to do? Took out the house, stripped them down and hosed them off. Thank goodness it was 90 degrees outside. 

Next came bath time. Now I had 2 naked kids running around the house, giggling and screaming and I tried to fill up the bath tub (all of this was done before my hubs got home from work). Finally wrestled one of them into the bathtub while the other tried to repeatedly jump in. After about 45 minutes of pure chaos, both girls were cleaned and in their pj’s, and me? I am exhausted.

Hubs gets home right after the baths (perfect timing). I explain my chaotic adventure thus far and all I get is “You were the one that wanted to do this.” Okay, okay, fine. I was the one with the brilliant idea, but in all honesty I love spending time with my niece and both girls love each other so much that how could I not want to do this.

Next came pizza and after that…..


ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And silly face making…


Then they made bracelets for each other. This was so incredibly cute.

We watched The Little Mermaid and then at about 9:30pm, my little niece missed her mama and wanted to go home. She was screaming and crying and I felt bad for the poor little thing. Why did I rip her away from her parents so she could spend the night with us, felt like a bad Auntie. Then my kid started crying because she didn’t want her cousin to go home. We now had a house full of screaming, crocodile tears.

We called my brother, we met him half way and he took my niece back home. Thank goodness my kid was asleep in the car when the switch was made, otherwise our 20 minute drive home would have been a nightmare.

We got home, put little one in bed, took a shower and fell onto my own bed in exhaustion. 

“When are you going to do this again?” my hubs sarcastically asked me. All I could muster was a look of  “Shut Up”. To spend more time with my niece and watch how happy my kid is when she is with her cousin, I would do it again in a heartbeat.


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