I really don’t like being a Negative Nancy. I am usually a pretty easy-going, semi-happy person. A little bit of a stress ball, but that was breed into me. This week, however, has tested my patience like no other. Let me share my time-line…

Monday – July 8th

Text message received from my friend at work that we will be receiving a “visit” from the owners of the company Tuesday and Wednesday. This makes me nervous in more than one way.

1. I do not have that great of a history with the “President” of the company. I have been with my company for 9 years. Way back in the earlier days, he use to be the Office Manager for my office. Let’s just say I was screamed at by him on a regular basis and there were a few times I came close to quitting. No one should have to take that kind of verbal abuse on a daily basis. It was understood that he was a “hot head”, but again, no employer should do that to their employees. So when I hear that he is making a visit all of those nervous, stomach tightening feelings come back.

2. The last time there was a large, sudden company meeting there was a large downsizing done. So this sudden visit doesn’t sit too well with me.

Tuesday – July 9th

In the morning we were told that we would be having a meeting with the main bosses around 12noon. Okay, fine and dandy. 11:00 hits and the meeting was rescheduled for the following morning. Instead, there were going to be collecting “data” that afternoon. Everyone is on edge to what that exactly means.

Wednesday – July 10th

9am meeting with the entire office and big bosses. Meeting seemed to go ok, although we were told changes were going to be made and if we were not willing to accommodate…there was the door.

Thursday – July 11th

Working from home, like normal. End of the day I get a text from my friend saying that there was a quick staff meeting and there were going to be some major changes, one involving me. Freaked out, I called her. Basically, I am no longer able to work from home. Now I am in complete and utter panic as to what exactly I am going to do about my child-care situation. My husband and I do not make enough money for daycare or a nanny. So now what? My mom can only watch my child so much with all the health issues she’s been having lately. Anxiety sets in. I cry for a few hours and feel completely nauseous all night. Only a few hours of sleep, spending the night pondering what I am going to have to do.

Friday – July 12th

Feel absolutely horrible. Unable to eat and honestly just feel lost. I collect myself and send a concerned e-mail to my boss. Figured I would address my concerns first. Got everything off my chest, still not really feeling any better about the situation, but at least it’s out there in the open. Nothing really changes with the outcome, still feeling lost and almost in a sense helpless. How do you adjust things when…

1. You live paycheck to paycheck and are really unable to spend basically a paychecks worth on childcare.

2. Trying to explain to my daughter, who already dislikes me working, that mommy now has to go into the office full time instead of working from home a few days a week, spending time with her.

Then if all of this wasn’t enough, paychecks were for some reason or another given to us physically instead of Direct Deposit. Working from home today, you can imagine my concern when I look into my bank account and do not see my paycheck in there, and even  worse, because there is no paycheck in there my account is now over-drafted. COME ON! SERIOUSLY! What did I do? I’ve been good. Karma shouldn’t be coming after me or anything.

It seems like when things are bad and stressful, the universe looks at you and says “Hey, let’s knock you in the gut and to the ground for a little bit. See how long it can take you to get back up.”

Thanks Universe, but the gut kick really isn’t necessary.

Is it too early to bust open a bottle of wine?