Having a four year old is tiring, rewarding and hard on the ears. What do I mean by that last comment? TOYS!!!!! I have learned that most toys these days do not have a volume control and whoever decided to build these ear piercingly loud monstrosities either…
A) Don’t have children
B) Have children and have decided to make all others suffer
and 3) Have given up on humanity and no longer care about anyone or anything precious in this world
Ok, so 3 is a stretch, but with some of these toys I am leaving it out there as a possibility.
With my daughter’s ever growing toy collection (thanks grandparents) and with the holidays right around the corner, I have compiled 4 of the most obnoxious toys my daughter has had the “privilege” of play with in this house. These toys have also heightened my level of insanity, so for these toy companies, I thank you (not really).
#1: The most recent thing to be brought into this house. I give you Exhibit A….
My kid received a gift card for her birthday and I finally took her out to get whatever she wanted with it. Mistake #1 on my part. She picked out the Sofia the First Radio. Cute right? It is actually pretty cool. It has 3 Sofia songs that your child can karaoke to and you can hook up any MP3 playing device so your kid can karaoke until the cows come home. It does have volume control, unfortunately your child does not. Em has been singing non-stop since she got it today. Thank goodness for Advil.
Toy #2 – Doc McStuffins
Generally I don’t mind this show, however, the toy is a totally different story. Em received this for Christmas from my mom last year. It repeats 3 phrases over and over and over and over and…well, you get the picture. Believe you me, this toy at one point will meet it’s untimely demise.
#3: Dora the Explorer Guitar
My good friend got Em this toy for her 2nd birthday. Talk about no volume control. I would love to strap two of these suckers to the person who designed this toy right to their head (one to each ear) and let the guitar go wild. My child LOVES music, so theoretically this was an awesome choice. Also, this toy scared the crap out of me one night. We were all sitting in the living room watching TV when this toy started playing by itself in my daughter’s room. I refused to go check it out, in case it was some kind of paranormal activity, and made my husband go back. He came back saying that he didn’t understand why it went off, the switch was turned to off. WTH!!!!! Uh uh…no way. The thing was possessed. We need holy water and a priest QUICK!!!!!
Last choice of the night #4: Furreal Bouncy Puppy
Let me make this perfectly clear, I despise this dog. The thing is nuts. All it does is yip, not really bark, and it does it in circles. Forgive me for saying this but seriously the thing looks like it is having seizures. If you forget to turn it off and you walk into another room, it will start whining. It looks all cute and innocent, but really I have lost count of how many times I have had the urge to drop kick this thing outside.
Now, I’m not knocking these toys or saying that they are horrible. To each his own. I’m just stating my opinion. Theoretically, these toys are great ideas! I just think that the people who make and design these toys should consider the parents a little when it comes to the level of sanity lost when they are taken out of the box.