I was going through my e-mails this morning and I received one from Baby Center, which I have been receiving before my child was born, telling me about my Preschooler. I couldn’t help but laugh when I began reading it. Below is what I received.

New Love of Rules
Rules keep life better organized and more efficient for all of us. They also let kids know what’s acceptable and what’s not. You already knew that — but did you know that 4-year-olds adore rules? They love the confidence they get from knowing the ropes. In fact, their respect for rules can sometimes border on the obsessive — kids can be stricter than their parents about making exceptions! 

The person who wrote this has obviously never met a four year old like mine. My child despises rules. If you try to enforce them, I swear it’s like I asked her to cut her stuffed animal’s head off. There’s the screaming and the over the top crying and, my personal favorite, the smart ass comments back. For instance, last night I told her that she needed to stay off the kitchen table. She stopped, looked at me and said in a very snotty, I know better than you, tone…

I’ll stop if you go get me a cookie

This was before dinner, actually I was in the middle of cooking it, so naturally my response was NO.

Well, then I’m not going to stop

What?!? This was the beginning of many interactions with my child last night. I swear, she was a civilized human being until her father got home from work then all of a sudden my daughter left and something else took over. 

This morning hasn’t been much better either. Another example, I was on the phone with my mom. We have a rule that when someone is on the phone you stay quiet so the person on the phone can hear what is being said. Makes enough sense, right? Emily wanted to go get cinnamon rolls for breakfast, I told her no and that she needed to be quiet while I was on the phone. She literally put her face up to where I was holding the phone and began singing loudly

I want cinnamon rolls…lalala

My mom naturally said she needed a good spanking, which is something I grew up with, but not something I do. Again, I said no and to be quiet and her response…

I’ll be quiet if you let me do what I want

Oh heck no! (pulling the earrings out of my ears) Room punishment commenced, which doesn’t really do much for her.

So, I tell you Baby Center, this so called New Love of Rules surely does not apply to this household. Maybe a disclaimer should be placed at the bottom of e-mails saying, “Results may vary”