So today, while I was on a 3 hour hold time to speak with someone regarding health insurance in California (yes I said 3 hours) I decided to thumb through an educational toy magazine that was mailed to me. Hey, I am ALL about educational toys. Kids need something other than staring at the TV like a zombie in training or playing endlessly with dolls and such. So, as I was looking through this magazine I found some scary ass  shouldn’t have been made  interesting learning toys that I thought I would share for your viewing pleasure.

#1 on the list…The phone that will let you “Hear” yourself talk


I don’t know about you, but I can hear myself talk pretty well. Maybe I am missing something with this toy.


#2 on the list…Emotion Bears


These just cracked me up. I get that kids need to learn emotions, but with a cuddly teddy bear? Teddy bears are suppose to be happy, right?


#3 on the list…The Evacuation Crib



This is actually a great idea, especially for child care providers, but they look kinda creepy to me with the clear plastic viewing chamber. Doesn’t it look like it’s something that belongs in a zoo?


#4 on the list…”Realistic” Looking Dolls


To tell the truth, I am not a huge fan of dolls like this. Mainly because I was mentally scarred as a young child by a life size doll that came to me in a clear plastic box. According to my mom I screamed and hid. My great-grandmother at that time couldn’t understand what my problem was. My mom tells me that it literally looked like a girl in a coffin. Well there you go, my lifetime fear of dolls solved. Look deep into these babies eyes. You tell me they aren’t plotting a murder while you sleep. Yeah, that’s right. You see it, don’t you? I’m not crazy. (Well, the jury is still out on that one)


#5 on the list…More Dolls


I don’t need to explain this one any further. But seriously, look at the little girl doll on the far left. Her hair is levitating above her head. I don’t look so crazy now, do I?


#6 on the list (final one)…The Human Organ Apron


(Sigh) Like I said before, I am all about the learning, but this…this is just unsettling to me. I guess it could be worse.


And there you have it, the educational toys I found. Remember while you sleep at night to look up the dolls in the closets. Those beady little eyes are planning something. It wouldn’t hurt to put a bell on that closet door either. Sleep tight.