I’ll totally admit it, right now, I have no shame. I am a complete girly girl. I don’t like to get dirty. I like pretty things. Bugs, and other things, send me into a high pitch screaming frenzy. I’m not a big outdoor person (I have NEVER been camping); not that I don’t like being outside, I do, I just don’t like some of the things you find while you are outside. For the most part, I suck it up and deal with it, but there are 3 things that I would rather be chased by flesh eating zombies than deal with.

1. Spiders

Just thinking about these little creatures makes me start itching. In fact, just about an hour ago I found a black widow and a HUGE nest of eggs between our awning and the outside of the garage. I was brave, for like 5 seconds, got a stick and tried to knock down the sucker. Instead of getting the spider, however, I got a stick full of cobweb and an inch of black (which was baby spiders). As I type this, reliving the horror, I am itching. Ew ew ew! 

2. Bees

Mostly because I am allergic to these things. I always feel like I am being stalked by them when I am outside. They are like ninjas! Appear out of nowhere and no matter how much you scream and flail your arms, they somehow stay out of sight.

3. Reptiles (or more specifically, any kind of being that has slimy, smooth skin)

Okay, it’s get to know a little bit of Tammie time here on The Graying Chronicles. When I was about 9 years old my family went to the Calaveras County Fair here in California. The fair is know for its Jumping Frog Jubilee. This is where they give you a frog, you go up on stage and try to get your frog to jump the farthest. In fact, Mark Twain wrote about this in a short story in 1865, his first great success as a writer. Well, my mom thought it would be such a WONDERFUL idea to get my brother and I up on stage and participate in this historic event. My brother was 6 at the time, and being the boy that he is, grabbed his frog right out of the bucket and made that thing hop across the stage. Everyone cheered, my mom was happy, and then came my turn. I refused to grab a frog out of the bucket. So the guy that was helping with the contest grabbed one for me and put him on the stage. Then I heard from the announcer, “Okay dear, now tickle its back and make it jump.” You’re kidding right? I wouldn’t grab that thing out of the bucket and you expect me to “tickle” it? That requires touching it, which was something I was not about to do. So, how was I going to get this thing to move without touching it? That’s what feet with tennis shoes is for. Tickle it my butt! I’ll just nudge the sucker with my foot. I can still hear the announcer laughing and saying, “This little girl is determined NOT to touch this frog!” Damn right! 

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This post was written for Mel @ According to Mags and Michele @ Old Dog New Tits, the Ketchup With Us ladies. Want to join in on the Blog By Numbers Challenge? Just put a Number in the title of your post and link it up to these lovely ladies or tweet them and let them know!

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@accordingtomags and @olddognewtits

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