Sunday will mark a pretty big milestone in our lives. My daughter will be turning 5! It really does seem like yesterday that I was holding that tiny body in my arms. Now, I can barely lift her since she is almost my height. She’s 46″ and I’m 5’3″; she definitely didn’t get her height from me. It’s strange, this looming 5 years old is hitting me a lot harder than 2-4. And as I sit here and type this, tears are already welling up in my eyes. I will try to get this post out before a tear drop hits my keyboard.

22 weeks

Dear Daughter,

It’s hard to believe that you will be turning 5! It seems like yesterday you were climbing up my rib cage in protest on the way to the hospital to have the c-section. It was a difficult road for you to be here with us. From infertility, to the fear of losing you when I was 3 months pregnant, to doctors wanting to do a procedure to turn you in the correct direction so that a c-section wouldn’t be necessary (which I opted to not do). Your dad and I used to put headphones on my belly and play different kinds of music for you. You seemed to like old country and My Morning Jacket.

I still remember when they brought you into this world. They announced to me, from behind the large, blue curtain, every single body part that brushed earth’s air for the first time; starting with your feet. And when you took your first breath of air and made your first cry, I can still remember the nurses commenting on how that was one of the loudest cries they have heard and that you were not happy that you were no longer in your cozy, warm mommy.

I had to wait a good hour before I could hold you in my arms, but once I did I knew that my whole world had changed and for the better.

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Emily

I never knew how much I could love somebody until I looked into that precious little face and every time you smiled, my heart would (and still does) melt into a million pieces.

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I am so very lucky to have you in my life. Sometimes I feel like I am not good enough for you. Like you deserve better. I know that I get too stressed sometimes and become more frustrated than I should be with you. Please know that I am working on this. I’m learning just as you are. I’m not always as together as I feel I should be for you and I know that you get upset now that I have to go back to work. Just know, that every second I am away I am thinking about you and no one could love you more than I do.

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You are an amazing girl! You are beautiful, funny, have a brilliant imagination, smart and one of the most forgiving and loving individuals I know.

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You are going to do some many great things one day. I know this because you are stubborn and determined. “No” is not in your vocabulary. Combine that with your loving nature and you are going to own the world once it’s your time to get out there.

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So, enjoy your day, my love. Know that you are loved by not just your mom and dad, but by so many others. We all can’t wait to see what you do in the years to come. I love you my little girl!

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So much for not letting a tear drop hit my keyboard before the end of the post. I’m lucky if I got to the end of the first sentence.

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