I LOVE movies! I love watching them. I love watching behind the scenes. The entire process, from conception to final product, makes the creative side of my brain dance.
Once upon a time, I wrote a script, auditioned local actors, filmed it, made a trailer for it…then it all went by the wayside when family situations took precedence over creative life. Unfortunately, when life seemed to cool for a moment and I headed back to editing, it no longer held the same magic it once did. I was unhappy with a lot of things. The sound was horrible, my make-shift store looked something like a kindergartner would put together at playtime and one of my cameramen (whom I worked with at the time) didn’t line up shots like I wanted. It also doesn’t help that I can be a total perfectionist. The only thing that was great was the acting. So, after taking some time to consider my options, the best thing to do was just scrap the project. Inside, it killed me. It was my first BIG leap towards what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and there I was, throwing it all down the drain.
After that, it took a long while to get my brain back into writing another script. Now that my daughter is six and before another is on the way (if that happens), I was, surprisingly, struck with inspiration that I couldn’t ignore. That passion was back and it felt AMAZING! It was like visiting an old friend that I hadn’t seen in YEARS! What was surprising was that it was just as easy to sit down and write as it was when I was in my early 20’s. I thought mommy brain had taken all clear, steady concentration, but apparently I was wrong.
The script is mainly finished. Actually, it’s in its 3rd phase of revisions. I am truly happy with it. It’s adapted from an App game that I had been playing since July 2015. The game and the stories are addicting and it occurred to me that any of the stories would make a great movie! So, I started adapting my favorite story. Of course I am changing things here and there, making it my own, but keeping the main story-line. What’s funny is that I started imagining who I would want to play the main character and there was only one person that came to mind. After that, in a way, I started writing for that actor. In a lot of ways this actor’s intensity parallels that of the main character. During it’s revisions, the script has taken off onto it’s own path. If only I could get the script into his hands. Hmm…
So, where does it go from here? That’s a good question. I’m not entirely sure. I can tell you where I would LIKE it to go, but is that truly possible? One can dream. That’s why there are bright stars at night to wish on.
Unfortunately, a lot of places do not take unsolicited scripts (writing without representation) and to get an agent isn’t easy. I still have to do more research and see what I can do. Any advice from my blogger friends out there? I’ll take anything I can get.
For now, I will continue with my revisions until it is absolutely perfect in my mind. A little bit of faith and courage in myself wouldn’t hurt either.
So, it’s been a while since I’ve written. Yeah, I know, not that long ago I said I was back and I had stuff to write about, but…ya know.
I was invited by Coach Daddy to write my 6 Words for the month of September. September is Self Improvement Month. I was asked in 6 Words what would I like to upgrade about myself. Now, I could have definitely gone with physical traits, slimmer figure anyone? But I settled upon this:
To Find More Faith in Myself
After writing this, I felt it warranted some explanation.
I’m not a very confident person. I second guess (well actually let’s make that third, fourth and fifth guess) myself A LOT. There are very few people that I am completely open with and being the true Pisces that I am, there is a million and one things racing through my brain at ALL moments of the day. And sometimes those thoughts slip off into an alternate reality where I feel more relaxed and calmer in my own skin. Creativity of the mind can sometimes be a dangerous thing.
Lately, I’ve been finding myself catering to those creative needs of mine. I finished my children’s book, published the larger version (still working on the smaller, more affordable one) and now I’m venturing on to one of my true passions, script writing. It’s been a LONG time since I’ve written a script. I forgot how much I LOVE it! I think the last time I wrote a script was over 10 years ago. That one I actually filmed. I had the support of some really great, talented actors and friends and after completing production, I never edited it together. I have a trailer for it, but that’s all. During post-production of the film, my Nanie became ill with cancer. My time was focused on her until she passed, that and I was planning my own wedding. When my Nanie did eventually pass, it took a long time for me to even want to take that time to sit in front of a computer and edit. By the time I was up to it, the whole project had changed for me. It felt entirely different and it just didn’t hold that same “magic” that it once did. I was no longer happy with what was done and I scrapped the project. I know it wasn’t fair to those individuals who took their time to bring this project to life, but I couldn’t put something out that I was no longer visually proud of.
So now, for me to be excited to sit down and write like this again, well, it’s a BIG deal to me. (I have to give some major props to Midnight Cinderella and Ikemen Cybird for a great story app, which is what my script is based off of.) And this is where my 6 Words ties in. Getting the confidence in myself to send something out for complete strangers to read and judge. Just the thought of it clenches at my heart and makes my stomach turn into an atrium full of butterflies. Rejection terrifies me. It always has. I’ve always worried too much of what other people have thought of me, more so of my writing because my writing is essentially an extension of my soul. It’s where I can be honest, open, creative…myself. So putting something I’ve written out there is the same to me as walking the streets naked, which no one wants to see (trust me). It’s frightening as hell! This is probably the reason why I’ve been shuffling me feet at making the more affordable version of my book available. I do want it out there, but at the same time it’s terrifying.
So what do you do about?
Time for me to grow some cojones!
I’m 35, it’s time for me to open myself up a little more and put myself out there. I deserve to have my dreams taken seriously too and the only way to do that is to grow a thicker layer of skin and jump out into that scary unknown. (deep breaths, right?) I always tell my daughter that she can be whatever she wants when she grows up, as long as she is willing to work for it. Why am I not listening to my own advice? Well, it’s a heck of a lot easier to dish it out than actually follow it, am I right? But what example does that set for my daughter? If she sees me not willing to put myself out there and go for it, will she do the same when she is older? If writing is my true passion and it’s something that makes me truly happy, why deny myself that?
So here we go. Asking for those encouraging, good vibes. Time for this 35 year old to grow up and follow her dreams.
I am so happy that my friend, Shannon, over at Radio Chick Reflections agreed to do another guest post for me. We live far apart from one another (California and Canada), but we get each other and subsequently share some of the same interests. One being writing and publishing our own books. Shannon has already self published one children’s book and is in the process of doing the same with her second! Go Shannon! And now, without further ado, Shannon over at Radio Chick Reflections:
I’m honoured to do a guest post for my friend Tammie’s blog, The Graying Chronicles. Although I haven’t met Tammie – we know each other through Twitter, and have bonded over our similar love for the Imagination Movers(!) – she has been one of my biggest cheerleaders and supporters as I’ve done something I really, really wanted to do: write children’s books.
I’ve always been a big believer in having dreams and ambitions, and in finding a way to realize them. The dreaming part is easy. However, it’s not always easy to find a way to realize them, and, let’s be honest, life gets in the way. It gets busy, and our passions get set aside and put on the shelf to collect dust while all our responsibilities are taken care of. That most certainly happened to me. I used to write a lot when I was younger. In fact, I even went away to school to be a journalist. But after I worked at a television station in Toronto, Ontario for a few years, I decided I wanted to do something different, and I ended up becoming a high school teacher. And for the last 13 years that is what I have done, along with becoming a wife and a mom.
As that all happened, my writing (and other things I had a passion for) stopped. I didn’t think I had time for it, and I didn’t make time for it. That changed at the beginning of this year. I had seen Tammie writing blog posts for a blog hop called Ketchup With Us, and though I didn’t think I was good enough or prepared to participate, I saw the prompt for their first blog hop of the new year, and decided to write a post for my work blog (at a radio station – where I work part-time while on extended leave from teaching). It was about goals for the new year. And it got me thinking seriously about making the most of the time I have at home before the craziness of going back to my full-time teaching job starts again. Most importantly, it forced me to write down what I wanted to do (with the spare time I had), and make a commitment to do it.
One of the things on that list was make time to follow my bliss. Initially, it meant to start singing lessons again, after 14 years, and record a CD. However, it quickly turned into writing a children’s book. I already had an idea, based on some experiences I’ve had in adulthood in my job, and so I just wrote…and wrote…and wrote…Having two children who love books means I also have many, many books on my shelves here, and so I knew my idea was a different one, although it dealt with a topic that is commonplace: bullying. I thought about contacting a publisher, but I really had no idea how to do that: Where do I go? Who do I contact? What do I send? And, to be honest, I thought it would be just be my mom and me who would be buying the book, so I decided I would try to self-publish. A former high school student of mine has recently self-published several novels (a whole different beast!), and so I got the idea from her and did some research. I found the Blurb website, which allowed me to download a program called BookSmart, an incredibly easy program to use that has a good variety of text and picture layouts.
Self-publishing is great because you do have total control of everything, and you don’t have to wait on publishers and worry about rejection. I am a sensitive person, and I know that if I was rejected by publishers I would feel terrible and unmotivated. And my passion for writing would, once again, be put on the shelf to collect dust. One negative about self-publishing, however, is that you have to do all of the promotion yourself. If you’re hoping to sell thousands of copies of your book, you need to do a lot of work. That wasn’t my goal. I just wanted to have something that I created sitting on a bookshelf to show my kids. It would be a symbol to them that you need to follow your dreams and make them happen. And I had very low expectations (again, I thought it would be my mom and me buying a few copies and that would be it). Fortunately we have social media to allow us to do our own promotion quickly and easily, and so I used Twitter and Facebook to announce to my friends and family that I had written a book. And to my surprise, people bought it (including my cheerleader Tammie)!
Now I have just finished my second book (I actually wrote it months ago but needed an illustrator – another thing that can be a problem when you self-publish), and I have been trying to perfect it over the last few weeks so I can finally hit the “publish” button.
I did shop this one around to a few publishers, via email only (I am a control freak and the thought of printing and sending manuscripts away without knowing what will happen to them was unsettling), but I got no responses. If that had happened with my first book, I would have been disappointed and dejected. With this one, that’s not the case. Sure, it’s disappointing when you think you have a terrific idea and you want others to think the same but they don’t. But it doesn’t mean I can’t complete my creation and put it out there for others to enjoy. And that’s why I wanted to write children’s books. I know that I have followed my bliss, I have created something I approve of, and I have written something my children will enjoy. Now to get to that CD…
Well, my fellow followers and bloggers, I have been blogging for 1 whole year today! Happy Anniversary to me! And, what seems fitting, is that I posted my 100th blog post yesterday. Do I got timing or what? 😉
This whole blogging thing started out as just something random to do. A year later, it has turned into something much more than that. It has definitely helped me with my writing, it has become a great sense of stress release (and Lord knows I got some stress going on around here), it has given me the opportunity to discover some really great blog hops, blogs and along with that comes some really great reading and awesome blogging friends.
I just wanted to take the time to thank you all for liking, following and reading my blog. I truly enjoy writing and I am so thankful you all enjoy reading my random thoughts.
Since I was laid off from my place of employment after 9 1/2 years of dedicated service (nope, I’m not bitter or angry at all) I have A LOT of free time on my hands. Of course I am doing the whole EDD thing; looking for jobs, filling out paperwork, blah blah blah…but besides that, what else is there to do? My house is so clean right now that I may be serving dinners on the floor just because I can; I have my kiddo that keeps me busy with random things, but she’s in school now. What the heck am I going to do with myself the 3 hours she’s gone? I’m not the type of person that can just sit still and enjoy peace and quiet. I get stir crazy.
Then I realized that, hey, now is a great time to brush off those dusty writing ideas. Writing has always been something that has come easy to me. I’ve written many poems as a kid, one being published in a national poetry book. I’ve written a script in my early 20’s and actually filmed it, edited most of it, but then did nothing with it after that. I have written some children stories, which I am pretty proud of and I think since I have time on my hands now, there is no excuse for me not to pursue this (even though my fear of failing will try to come up with some).
I always tell my daughter that she can be whatever she wants to be as long as she has the drive, dedication and determination to get there. I guess it is time that I start taking my own advice.