It’s been a while since I have posted anything. Call it stress, call it as being uninspired, call it major writer’s block (which is a very rare thing for me). It’s funny how life events can halt your mind creatively, but alas, that is exactly what happened…until NOW!
I just have to give a quick shout out before I start this post to Coach Daddy aka Eli. Thanks for the ideas and friendly advice. You, sir, are awesome! And if you haven’t yet, I highly recommend you go check out this guy’s blog. If you like humor, thoughtfulness and storm troopers, you will like this blog.
Alrighty, let’s move on.
Being an adult, you are berated by chores. It stinks, right? Yeah, I had chores (unpaid) to do when I was growing up (probably why I despise dusting to this day), but nothing like now. I do a majority of the household chores; dishes, laundry, school drop-off and pickup, groceries, but none gets under my skin quite like cleaning the bathroom. I HATE IT! Yes, hate is a very strong word, but I wouldn’t lie to you good people. It’s gross and icky and I just plain don’t like it. It is me, however, that has this unpleasant task 99.9% of the time. So, Mama Kat had a great idea for this heinous chore. List 7 things you would rather do than clean the bathroom. I, personally, have a million things I would rather do, but I will spare you all and list my 7.
#1: Getting Blood Work Done
Needles scare the crap out of me. Anytime I have to go get lab work done I am usually shaking and feeling completely nauseous. I would still, however, gladly do this than clean that disgusting toilet.
#2: Drive into Oakland 5 Days a Week During Rush Hour
Let me make this entirely clear; I despise traffic! I have no patience, people drive me crazy (especially when they are behind a wheel) and it eats at my gas tank, which I probably just filled up. Typically a 15 minute drive in the morning hours of 8am to 9:30am turns into an hour (at least) drive. This is no fun AT ALL, but still better than the bathroom.
#3: Cutting My Daughter’s Finger and Toe Nails
You would think this task is simple enough and wouldn’t count as taking the “cleaning the bathroom” spot, but it totally does. My 5 year old HATES her nails cut and has this odd fear that I might completely clip off those little piggies. It takes a good 2-3 minutes per appendage (not limb) to complete this task. It’s full of “Wait, wait, wait” and yanking said appendage out of my hand, awkwardly trying to straighten and maneuver fingers to get a clean cut and ALWAYS the inevitable stalling.
#4: Giving My Daughter AND Husband a Plate Full of Veggies and Listening to Them Complain About It
Yes, I said husband too. He is literally just as bad as the child. The verbal complaints come from the kid, non-verbal from the husband.
#5: Staring At The Sun
Yep, I’d rather destroy my retinas than clean the bathroom. That’s pretty bad.
#6: Standing Outside…In My Backyard…At Night…With No Light…In My Undies…Knowing There Are Critters Ready to Pounce
If I have to go outside at night to the garbage can, I swear, I turn into The Flash. I’ve had a possum creep up on me once at night. It’s hiss and snarling teeth scared the hell out of me and ever since then I have had this paralyzing fear of something ready to pounce on me when I go into the backyard at night. Plus, I found this big foot print the other day in our flowerbed. Bear?
#7: Oh Wonderful Sleep
I’d pretty much rather do this than most (if not all) of the chores in my home. I already don’t get enough sleep; wandering minds never rest, so it would be nice to catch up.
You icky bathroom, you will just have to wait. I have plenty more things I would…I mean HAVE to do before I get to you.
This blog post was in response to Mama Kat’s Writing Prompt.
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